Practice In Shallow Water

Very few fisherman go straight out to the deep sea and cast a line for the tune, sharks and other big fish. Most of them have learned the basic skills by fishing in the shallows, for smaller fish.

The same principle applies well to making connections with people. Start 'small' with local people. I don't mean 'ordinary' people any offence here, by the way, but it is easier to engage the local hardware store owner in conversation, than the President of Toyota. it takes a lot less courage too! Practice on these 'little fish'. You may be pleasantly surprised - the little old lady at the 'Homebaked for Children' store might not merely be a pleasant person, she may be the mother of the President of Toyota!

Are Men Better at Networking?

I don’t think it is really debatable, if we are talking about business. Men are better at networking. In fact, there is a ‘glass partition’ keeping women out of the loop in many cases.

Reference is often made to the ‘Boy’s Club’. Women accuse men of supporting each other, even when they aren’t friends. It’s true, I believe. Men do exactly that – in both the personal and business sense. Why?

Men and women connect very differently. Women want to be able to trust someone they connect with, so they seek a deeper connection. They are very good at it, too – much better at making personal ties then men are. And this is their weak spot, in business.

Men on the other hand, tend to seek not trust but respect, as the basis for connection. By definition, most other men must be respected. What’s more, respect can exist even if they don’t like someone. He may be a good fighter, politician, businessman, or leader. Men will tend to respect him. They don’t need to like him. In fact men are less likely than women to seek a deep connection anyway, as they do not ‘do emotion’ to the same extent as women do. They play their cards closer to their chests when it comes to emotion. An essential tactic for a warrior – and most men are still not too far removed form the warrior in their genes (no, not ‘jeans’!).

So, when men meet men, they look for a reason to respect. If they are business-minded, that reason is probably a business one. They take note of what the other guy has done, what position he holds. This is the ideal model for networking – focus on the business issue, leave personal connections for the braai or the matrimonial domain.

Very close, personal networks are built on close personal connections, but broad, business networks are built on ‘Network Focus’, something men are better at. There is no reason why women should not learn the skills however. In fact, many are putting their superior social skills to work and bursting through the ‘glass partition’ to do business like men do. Even better.

If you are a woman who would like to be better at networking, visit the information on “Networking Skills For Women” ad here – xxx.

If you would like to debate any of the points made in this article, please feel free to contact me at rogerk@eastcoast.co.za, or post a comment.